My Problem With Hip Hop

As I get older it seems the more I no longer can relate to music. Take Hip Hop for instance. Growing up I loved hip hop just like every other white suburban teenager who thought he was gangster. Yet now I'm an adult mailman who takes a daily aspirin to help prevent a heart attack. Lil Wayne doesn't rap about health. He raps about sipping champagne and Bentley's…I on the other hand drink Pepsi and drive a mail truck.

I used to love The Notorious B.I.G. Biggie Smalls was my favorite rapper growing up. When I go back and listen to his songs I can't relate like I used to. When I was a younger wigger I would hang out on street corners drinking forties so it made sense to listen to music that emulated the lifestyle I was living: That of a privileged white kid who had the luxury of pretending to be gangster without any of the real consequences or side effects.

Perhaps I'm trying to relate to these songs and this music from my adult perspective. Maybe I've grown too old to appreciate it for what it is.However Biggie Smalls never rapped " I love it when you call me big Poppa/throw your mail in the air/If you's a bill payer..rappers don't buy stamps!

It has also become impossible for me to sing rap near my black friends. As a white man I'm never allowed to say the 'N' word. I can't abbreviate it or just say the letter it just sounds fucking stupid. For instance I will use a sample that uses the 'N' word rather frequently, "Craziest" by Naughty By Nature:

"Jersey N-words are the craziest/Miami N-Words are the craziest/Seattle N-Words are the craziest

It just doesn't "flow" so I tried using "Pollock" being offending the Poles bothers no one, so here that goes : Jersey Pollocks are the craziest/Miami Pollocks are the craziest/Seattle Pollocks are the craziest

I can see a conversation between to two thugs now "You don't want to fuck with those Philly Pollocks Raheem."

"Why not son?
"I heard they the CRAZIEST!!!"
"oh yeah who told you that?"
"Trech"
"Word?"
"Word!"

The above will never happen cause it sounds ridiculous. I can't find any way around it. I can't relate to rappers and their lifestyle, I can't emulate their bling nor their big booty'd ho's nor can I even sing the very songs I like cause I'm not allowed to use the 'N' word. I guess it is time I get a Maroon 5 CD. I know I can relate to them, they're white.

Nick