8 till ????

I just recieved an invitation in the mail today to a party. I am sure you are as shocked as I am that someone actually invited me somewhere especially since I have all the interpersonal skills and charm of a feral wolverine and that they did so using paper and not some stupid souless e-vite. I do not want to seem like an ingrate but after examining the invitation there is a small detail that I take umbrage with and I would like to share that with you now. There's nothing in this world I hate more than when someone lists the time for a party with the end time being question marks. For example "8 Till ???????" Fuck you. As if its some big mystery or implies that the party is a west coast party cause a west coast party don't stop....those question marks make it seem you are so crazy and zany and so awesome that the gathering you are hosting may go on forever... Settle down Snoop Dog it's a tupperware party. I'll tell you what. Due to your stupid question marks I will fucking arrive when I feel like it and leave whenever you throw me out...or when I piss in your closet or decide to wear your wife's panties on my head, whichever comes first. So for future reference unless you are having a huge party fuled by cocaine, strippers and Andy Dick then please put an end time on your invitation. I thank you in advance.

I Want To Be Adopted

As some of you know and now others who do not know, both of my parents are deceased which makes me an orphan. Tragic to become an orphan so late in life. I feel robbed, cheated and angry at the lord for taking away what was once mine. This is exactly why I envy kids who grew up in the Orphanage. They at least never knew their parents so they have nothing to miss once they depart this earthly plane. Sure they had to mop floors, risk rape at the hands of foster parents and siblings and of course the whole not feeling loved thing but hey, at least they never knew what they were missing. So I guess my life is just like the musical "Annie" save for the fact that the old bald guy I met one time at a hotel bar slipped something in my drink and raped me. So yes it's exactly like the musical...The sun will come out, tomorrow.... It should be noted and I would be remiss if I didn't add the circumstances of my parents demise. See they were playing an intense game of Jenga when my Father knocked over the blocks and then my mother shot him. Such a dangerous game, it should really come with a warning or something. This has thus left me an orphan and an orphan who is getting married in less than four months so in order to feel loved and supported and to balance out our family photos since my fiancé is Italian and has like eighty cousins and sisters and aunts I'm looking to be adopted. Yes I want to be adopted, for just one day. Those willing to adopt me would have to be white for obvious reasons, preferably of Irish descent so we sort of resemble each other with our bad teeth, big ears and pasty skin and also be either childless or have a deceased child this way they can spoil me rotten all the while making me the sole center of their attention. So if you don't mind being called Mom and Dad for a day by a random stranger, enjoy a free meal, in possession of most of your teeth and want to adopt me, please contact me post haste. If not, then I will be forced to have uneven and empty pictures and when the Mother/Groom dance comes I will have to slowly twirl in a circle with my arms out while Rod Stewart's "Forever Young" blares through the speakers making everyone feel sorry for me or awkward. Don't let my wedding be awkward, adopt me for a day.

Caption with CMuff results - week 110

CMuff pulls one out of his ass.

I Want A Hermaphrodite

As some of you know and for those who may not, I am getting married...yay...one vagina for eternity...one vagina to rule them all. Yes her vagina does rule but being that our wedding is still four months away I find it odd and rather strange that people keep asking us when we are going to have children and what sex we would prefer in this as yet to exist child. First off in regards to childbirth, people always ask about the birth, but never about the conception? If you ask me the birth is rather pedestrian; woman squeezes child out, doctor cuts the cord and the father passes out. Routine. Yet no one that I know of ever asks about the conception. This is far more interesting, we all know how a child is born but we don't know exactly how our friends fuck. " So Dan tell me about the conception. Where did it take place and what happened?" " Well Steve I was fucking Joan from behind of course pulling her hair as she likes and she mumbled something but I couldn't hear her cause I jammed her panties in her mouth, again something she just absolutely loves so instead of cumming on her back I instead came inside her and nine months later little Dexter came popping out!." Infinitely more fascinating right? Exactly. But I digress so let me return to my point. My future wife and I only want one child for various reasons, all of them selfish, so when people ask me what sex I want for my baby I'm just going to tell them that I'm praying for a hermaphrodite. Who wouldn't really? It's the best of both worlds and you only have to have one kid!!! Think of it like this... want to go to a Phillies game? Slap a hat and jersey on little Tim and take him. Want to go to the ballet but afraid you will be called gay by your friends? Slap a dress on it can call it Tina now you can play with all the My Little Ponies you want and enjoy the Nutcracker without your friends cracking yours. On my wedding night when my wife is carrying me into our rented and hopefully dimly lit hotel room I will be praying to the fertility gods that I am blessed with the buy one get one free of children and that I conceive this child doggy style...just how mommy likes it. Nick

Behind the scene

Here's a glimpse of the LaffCast.com command center. This is what makes The KupMuff Show, The Panic Hour, Verbal Assault and The Donkey Show happen.

Greg Lynn from Show 107

Listen to show 107 to hear when Greg Lynn stopped by to do The KupMuff Komedy Korner, and brought his kid with him.

Hello everyone, new and old!

Hello human,

Welcome to The KupMuff Show blog page. If you don't know what a KupMuff is, you'll soon find out. Hosted by Chris Scamuffa, aka CMuff, Nicholas L. Kupsey, aka Delco's Best Mailman, and Joanne Mac, aka Jugs. It's a podcast on LaffCast.com that airs live every Tuesday night at 9 pm Eastern time on Ustream.TV and SHOUTcast.com. The show airs live for one to two hours. Don't worry though. If you missed the live airing of any show, you can watch or listen at anytime during the week.

www.kupmuff.net is our main homepage. Go here and click on our show name.

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Use tinyurl.com/kupmuff-itunes to find the audio recordings of our recent shows on iTunes. Or you can search for "kupmuff" on iTunes. And another way to get audio recordings of recent shows, is via Stitcher. http://stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=16180

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Thanks,

Chris, Nick and Joanne...and Butler

We've got buuuusssshhhh!!!!

Hey KupMuff fans!

Guess what? We've done it. We've setup a blog, and there's nothing you can really do about it. Love it or hate it, it is what it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWshbNTYVqg